Rainy Return Rewriten
by Kay104
Summary: One day I decided to re-read Rainy Return, and found it seriously lacking. So, I re-wrote it and it is completely different, save the rain. It is now funny. XD JS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, well this would make the THIRD time I've posted this story...but I can assure you that this one will be the best...third times the charm, they say...BUT I do promise that the characters will probably be a little more into character and there will be no crying...I was depressed the day I wrote the second one, but right now I'm a little hyped up on sugar. This story might be a little humorous, but don't kill me if it's not you your standards...so without further a due **

**-DISCLAIMER- I do not own anything recognisable outside of this story, thus including Labyrinth characters, franchises, or basically name brand anything. The Labyrinth belongs to Jareth the Goblin King (and supposedly some Henson guy, but WE all know who really owns it :D)**

Tap-tap-tap-tap-...

This had been going on for two hours now...

Tap-tap-tap-tap...

Even the goblins were antsy...what had there king in such a ruffle?

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap "OH BOG IT ALL!" The disgruntled king smacked his ridding crop down _hard_ onto side of his throne. He had been brooding as soon as he had waken up. Today had always made him go into an even thicker mood of impatiens. "Five years! FIVE BLOODY YEARS and she still hasn't called!"

Most of the goblins ignored there king, thinking he had finally gone insane. It wouldn't be the first time...in fact, King Jareth was the first to make it this long without having some kind of mental break down.

"Uuuuhhhh Kingy?" one particularly stupid goblin asked, after Jareth had promptly leaped from his throne and kicked an innocent goblin. "Why you kick Potsworth? I one who drooled on yer boot." this goblin had a vacant expression on his face, but Jareth knew he was jealousy he had not kicked him instead.

The stupid things loved being kicked, slapped, thrown out of windows, or generally beaten with any blunt object. It gave them some sort of sick goblin fun to be physically in pain all the time. The king knew it would be best to just kick this one too, it's not as if he didn't enjoy it himself. Swiftly, Jareth planted his pointy boot into the goblin's backside and sent it flying.

That out of the way Jareth stared to pace. It had been five years since Sarah had defe- no not defeated, she had _over come _ him. He could not go directly to her, or even near her unless she willed it so.

The fist year Sarah had been sent back, Jareth had sent her flowers everyday. Each bouquet would be hand selected by him and he always sent a peach with it. He figured Sarah would be grateful for his efforts he had put in them, but alas she only sent a letter with Hogfart telling him to stop already with the flowers it was driving her nuts. He had sent an apology back, and that was the last time they had corresponded. So Jareth waited for her to make the next move, and to give him credit he had been mostly patient these four years. He had only sent fifty different goblins to spy on her, only spy-ed on her two hundred and seven times through his crystals, and only checked up on her twenty times as an owl. For four years Jareth was proud of himself.

But five years was a long time; even with the occasional report, spy-ing, or distant watching as an owl. Jareth was tired of it, he would see her if it killed him!...or maybe just maimed a little...what ever would the goblins do if he wasn't there to bog them or kick them? Okay so no dying...But what could he do? He just couldn't go Above all willy-nilly...could he?

"Why not?" he asked aloud to himself. He didn't often talk aloud with himself, but he had stopped trying to discontinue that habit many hundreds of years ago. It's not like there are many conversational companions that he had or would be worth wasting time with.

"Well for one I might bump into some crazy loon like the Bird Lady, with the green hat.." Jareth inwardly shuttered...The Bird Lady...There was now an actual statue dedicated to the Goblin King just for ridding the world of her and her...birds. He didn't kill her...but she did have an extended vacation booked on the shores of the Bog of Eternal Stench. Jareth shuttered again...he still had nightmares about it.

Continuing with his self conversation he stated, "But it is our anniversary...I'm sure I could stride in and sweep her off her feet in a matter of minutes!" Jareth arrogantly smirked and gazed at his fingernails regally. He didn't have an _actual_ plan, but...those were mere details! He would figure it out once he was Above.

With his mind made up, Jareth popped into his private chambers to change into his most dashing clothes. He wore his nicest black leather pants that fit him snugly, (we all know how snug) a simple elegant white poet's shirt, and finally his favorite brown leather jerkin he wore in the tunnels. He made sure his hair was as stylish (poofy) as ever while adding some colorful streaks, and his natural markings were adjusted to match his apparel. Finally Jareth pulled on his freshly polished black riding boots he saved for special occasions, and transported himself to the park where he had first saw here when she was only eight.

As soon as Jareth appeared in the park he immediately noticed two things. One- It was absolutely pouring, and Two- he forgot to put a shielding spell on him that would have blocked out the rain.

"Gaw!" The Goblin King let out a very un-kingly gawk and tried to move his sopping wet hair out of his face. He growled in frustration and flopped down onto the bench behind him, successfully soaking his rear-end. Now completely soaked from head to toe, wearing Underground clothing, anyone passing by would think him either a drunk or a hobo.

Jareth didn't even bother setting up his shield now. What was the point? He was already drenched to the bone, and would not diminish his pride by seeking out Sarah now. What would he do even if he saw her anyway? He was almost certain Sarah would laugh in his face or run away accusing him of trying to take Toby no matter what he did. He could try coddling her with flowers, or ignoring her like he had been, waiting for her to call, either way Sarah would evade his grasp.

What could he do? What did she want him to do! So tired and frustrated, Jareth voiced his question. He looked up at the sky, rung his hands together and said loudly (but not shouting), "What does Sarah _want me to __**do**_!"

"Well for starters you can stop trying to kill yourself by brooding in the pouring rain."

Jareth whirled around and stared at a more mature Sarah Williams with a smug crooked smirk on her face. He ogled her for a moment, unabashed until what she had said registered in his mind. "I was _not brooding_!" He stood and tried to seem haughty and imposing. But the dry Sarah, shielded by an umbrella, just raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly.

"Number 2 you can stop the 'mightier- than- thou' looks. I stopped being scared of you when you sent me those purple tulips with the white zig-zags, claiming them to 'pale in my beauty'."

Jareth stared at her for a moment, not understanding why she was telling him this. "What."

Sarah sighed and grabbed his hand, pulling him under her large umbrella. They were touching sides, but not too close to be uncomfortable. "You know you can really be a man sometimes. Come on lets get out of the rain." She pulled him along after her, his hand in hers to a gazebo near by.

All Jareth could think about was, _'Holy Chickens, she's actually allowing physical contact with me without force! This will be a 'piece of cake!' _

Once they were out of the rain Sarah snapped her fingers and a goblin appeared.

"How did you-!" Jareth started furiously, but Sarah cut him off.

"Crab-Cake will you get me the beach towel out of my bathroom closet, please?"

"The blue one!" the medium sized goblin squeaked. Sarah nodded. "YES MA'AM LADY!" The goblin poofed itself there in back in less than a few seconds holding the towel.

Sarah smiled at it, ruffled it's scarce hair and took the towel. "Thank you Crab-Cakes, you can go play with the sink if you don't flood the kitchen now." She bent down and stared him in the eye. "If you do flood my floors, I will personally wash every inch of you with lavender soap and dress you in clean cloths for a week...Got it?"

The goblin cowered and nodded vigorously. "Good, you can go now."

As soon as the goblin left Jareth started his rant. "WHEN DID _MY_ GOBLINS-"

"Number 3, you can stop YELLING at me!" she glared at him with as much defiance as she could muster, while simultaneously stripping Jareth of his jerkin.

"Are you mad! What are you talking about? What are you doing?" Jareth sighed dramatically, while trying to snatch back his jacket.

Sarah threw the article of clothing out of his reach and wrapped the towel around his shoulders. "Four, you can stop talking to me like I'm an idiot, and Five, you can start _listening _ to what I say." Sarah started to rub his arms through the towel.

Jareth stared at Sarah like she had a second head. What was she doing? Thinking it best not to get his head bitten off, Jareth carefully continued. "Will you please tell me what your talking about?"

Sarah smiled, as if happy with his question. "You said, you wanted to know what I wanted you to do." she sat down, taking him with her, onto the bench behind her. "First, I wanted you to get out the rain. Second, I wanted you to stop the imposing stances. Third, I asked you to stop yelling. Fourth, I wanted you to stop treating me like I was an idiot, and lastly I wanted you to listen." She spoke calmly.

Jareth eyes widened when he figured out what she was talking about. Did this mean...? With imploring eyes he asked slowly, "Does this mean, I can...try again?"

Sarah sighed and moved some of his wet bangs out of his face. "Tell yo what, next time you come over, dress in some jeans and a tee and _try_ to do as I ask, and...we'll see."

Jareth smiled broadly, showing all of his slightly pointed teeth, "Great, I'll stop by tomorrow and-"

"Number six, don't try to rush this," she placed a small kiss on his cheek, "and I'll do that again."

Jareth smirked at her. "What do I have to do to move your kiss over a bit?"

Sarah smirked herself and moved so her lips hovered right above his lips, not yet kissing, but only scant millimeters until touching. "A lot more than just those six..." she moved away quickly and started to walk away. "Come by my place on Friday. I know you spy-ed on me, so you know where I live." turning her head she added, "Oh, and bring my towel back too."

Jareth lightly grazed his lips muttering, "Little minx." he smiled and disappeared back to the Underground in his throne room. He needed to be prepared after all...for Friday might be a little sooner if he could just re-order some time-

His thoughts were interrupted by Crab-Cakes tugging on his leg. "What is it Crabby-Cobbler?"

Crab-Cakes puffed out it's chest and clearly told him, "Number seven, no re-ordering time to make it Friday sooner."

Jareth smirked and whispered under his breath. "Little minx!"

**A/N-Well that's all for now. I might continue this, I might not. It depends on what you guys think. I did keep the other Rainy Return, only because it will let me compare how my writing used to suck and now sucks slightly less. So if you please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-Hey everyone, this chapter is sort of like a predate 'disaster' that sort of breaks the ice between then and gets them a little closer together...sort of. Well lets just cut to the chase and see how what horrors I put his majesty through this time around. :)**

The Goblin King was quickly pacing back and forth across his chamber room floor. Every few seconds he could glance up at a large clock hanging above his fireplace. He was dressed in tight black skinny jeans, black boots under the pants, and a tight midnight blue tee that read- I will _move_ the _stars_, turn the World _upside_ _down_...and **Kick** _every_ Goblin that gets in your way.- Over said tee he wore a black leather jacket. His hair was pulled into a low ponytail, and a glamor hid any natural fae markings.

Jareth was just about to check the clock again, when finally it rang out the hour. He did want to be courteous enough to give Sarah enough time to get ready and all. The slightly nervous king let out a deep and breath and prepared to disappeared...right inside of Sarah's room.

Sarah was having such a wonderful dream. She was sitting in a local cafe with Jareth, and he was actually behaving. Really they were having fun, laughing, talking...just the normal first time date stuff.

Jareth smiled as Sarah said his name in her sleep. He walked over and sat down on the side of her bed to admire her closely. Then he slightly furrowed his brow, but kept his sweet smile. He really couldn't figure out why she was still sleeping it was indeed morning. Carefully, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Sarah- AAAWWW!"

The almighty Goblin King held his nose in both of his hands and backed up until his back hit the wall. Sarah scrambled out of bed. "Oh my gosh Jareth! I'm so sorry! Wait...what time is it?" Sarah glanced at her clock which read 3:09 a.m. She glared at him and pointed an accusing finger at him. "YOU WOKE ME UP AT THREE A.M.!"

Sarah saw a _silver_ liquid start to seep out from the cracks of his fingers. "Oh Lord Jareth, is that...blood?" She ran out of the room and got a white hand drying towel. "Here." she tried to pry his fingers away, but he wouldn't let her. "Stop being a baby and let me see!"

"No..." Was his weak attempt at fending her off.

"Jareth _let me see __**now.**_**" **She finally pulled his hand away and stuck the towel to his face quickly. "Hold this here I'll get some water and another rag." before she left she motioned for him to sit down on her bed. "Do not lay down."

When she got back she tilted his head forward. "What are you doing? It'll bleed more if you do that!" he stated severely, if a bit muddled.

In her mind she mentally said. 'It really is his blood then.' But, Sarah rolled her eyes outwardly. "Do you trust me?"

Jareth started at her for a moment, and then without answering he bent his head down as she had. "Thank you. Now, let me have that towel and-" Sarah cut herself off as she wiped up the blood on Jareth's face and quickly replaced the towel. "Now pinch your nostrils through the cloth."

After about five minutes she let Jareth remove the towel to find his nose had stopped bleeding. He looked at her inquisitively. "How did you uh...well-?"

She smiled at him. "I took first aid after my run through the Labyrinth. I kind of freaked out after Toby got a small burn from a pan on the table." She shook her head slightly, as if trying to get rid of the memory. "If you had put your head back, it would have caused you to swallow a lot of that blood and it might have made you puke."

Jareth looked stunned. "I shall have to use that method for my goblins after they've had a little too much ale."

Sarah smiled faintly, remembering how a particularly fat drunk goblin had stumbled into her living room one day. Then she furrowed her eyebrows and stared at Jareth. "Hey Jareth?"

"Hmm." he replied touching his nose lightly.

She swatted his hand (which earned her a glare she ignored) and continued her question. "Why didn't you just...you know." she twirled her finger around in a circle.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her with a bored expression. "Really Sarah," he drawled, "just because I'm a Goblin King doesn't mean I can do _everything_." He smirked. "Though it is quite flattering you should think so."

Sarah gave a soft bark of laughter. "Well apparently you can wake dreaming women out of their beds at three in the morning."

Jareth started at her. "And?"

That made her a little mad. "_And_, normal people sleep until at least six unless they have to go to work earlier."

"So you laze in bed all morning? You're missing the best hunting time." He stated factually.

"Oh no! And I so hoped I would be able to bag at least four turkeys this morning." she spoke in sarcastic mock distress.

"Really Sarah, sarcasm is not becoming of you." He was a bit hurt.

She sighed and sat beside him on the bed. "Look don't be that way. People Aboveground sleep for- or, are supposed to sleep for at least eight hours."

Jareth looked scandalized. "_Eight hours!_ I only get about four and a half."

"Well, now you know. So, could you please maybe come back at, oh I don't know..." she placed a finger at her lips and thought for a moment. "How about you come back at noon and we'll go out for a coffee."

Jareth had no idea what a 'coffee' was, but if Sarah was willing to overlook this whole ordeal, so was he. He stood and placed a kiss on the knuckles of her hand. "Thank you Sarah. Now, I really must be off, who knows what my goblins have gotten into." He turned his back to her starting to fade from view, but before he disappeared completely he said. "Oh, and Sarah...if you speak of this to anyone I will-"

"Number eight, No threatening to bog me." She smiled as he pretended to pouted slightly as he faded completely from view. Then the sleep worn woman cleaned up the bloody towels and made sure to wash her hands of any blood. If Jareth had to work around goblins _all _day and night, who knows what kind of stuff he could be immune to that she wasn't. She did not want any freaky goblin disease that would turn her green or make her grow orange warts.

Just as she was about to fall back asleep in her bed after cleaning up, Sarah sat straight up and said, "Did his tee shirt really say what I think it did?" Then she burst out in a small fit of giggles.

Jareth, having watched her in a crystal, laughed at her surprise, and made a mental note to wear more tee shirts similar to that one.

**A/N-I know it's kind of short, but I'm going away to camp tomorrow, and this is all I had time to write. I promise next chapter will be the actual date. ;)**


	3. Date part 1

**A/N- I'm ! Here, as I promised, is the 'date/coffee' chapter. I sort of had trouble deciding what to put on Jareth's next tee shirt, but hopefully this one will do. In the future I would love it if you guys gave me some sayings, or at least some ideas, for his Majesty's next shirt. DISCLAMER- (I can't believe I forgot earlier!) I do not own any thing recognizable outside of this story including: franchises, products, characters, or generally name-brand anything. **

**Alright, as a heads up, the first part of this chapter will be a little on Sarah's background, but don't worry the date will be happening ;)**

Sarah sat typing away at her computer, completely absorbed in what she was doing, and totally oblivious of the world around her. She worked at a local law firm as a private secretary. This, as you can imagine, was not her first choice, but Karen had bluntly told her if she didn't take the job her college funds were kaput. Sarah knew Karen only wanted what was best for her.

Sarah had not gone to college right off the bat. For her first to years of 'freedom', she had gotten a job at a locally owned bookshop and rented the small apartment on the second floor of the store. The owner thought is was a terrific set up for security purposes and rented it cheep. For the whole two years Sarah struggled, but it was something that she needed to do to for herself in life. Robert, Sarah's father, had offered to pay for her first year and a half of college if she went, and on her third year out of high school, Sarah took up his offer.

In college she was majoring in English and minoring in Art. The young girl that once played all day in the park play acting was no more. Sarah had quickly given up the idea of following in her mother's footprints, but she still had that need to express herself. That is how she discovered her talent for sketching and painting. Her passion for English and literature was already implanted.

Because of her choices in college, Karen had convinced her father only to let her have the funds if she also took this secretary job as a fall back. Even though it wasn't Sarah's first choice, she had to agree the money was good. Karen had made a good judgment in her life...this time.

Sarah was still typing away on the final draft of her employer, Mr. Andan's, opening statements for an up coming trial. So focused in her work, in fact, that she didn't even hear Mr. Andan calling her name.

After a fifth try to snap Sarah out of her trance, Mr Andan whooshed his hand in front of her computer screen. The young woman looked up, startled. "Sorry, Sir. Can I help you?"

The older man of about fifty sighed and ran a hand through his practically non-existent hair. "Ms. Williams, do you know what time it is?"

Sarah scrunched her eyebrows and asked. "What?"

The man pointed to a clock on the wall, "Ms. Williams it is nearly one o'clock, and I do believe you've missed you lunch break...again." Mr. Andan really did like Sarah's work ethnic, but sometimes even he had to admit she got a little carried away.

When Sarah saw the time, she stood up hurriedly and exclaimed. "Oh no I'm late!"

The man raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what she was late for, because as far as he knew Sarah didn't date...at all. "Late, Ms. Williams?"

Sarah shook her head and slumped back into her seat. She placed her head in her hand and sighed a long tired sigh. "Oh Mr. Andan I had a coffee date with this guy and...and I don't know what he'll think now..." The last part of her sentence was more directed to herself than to her boss. What would Jareth think? Surely he'd be mad. Would he still want see her? Would she be able to make it up to him?

Sarah felt a pat on her shoulder and looked up to see her boss. "Ms. Williams," he smiled kindly at her, "I'm glad to hear you've finally caught yourself a good man, and that's why I think a extended lunch would be fine by me." He grinned proudly at her and gave her a wink.

Sarah was so grateful when she heard the news, she stood abruptly and hugged her employer. Mr. Andan didn't respond at first, but gave her a pat on the back and laughed at bit. "Go on," he said letting go of her, "and make up with that man of yours."

As Sarah ran out the door she yelled. "Thank you! Thank you, Mr. Andan! I owe you one. I'll make it up to you somehow."

After his young secretary left, the lawyer took a seat behind her desk and glanced at her work. His eyebrows rose when he saw sher had completed typing all twenty pages of his report. "My word..." The thankful man looked out towards the door and said, "Well Sarah if you keep this up, I'll be the one owing you."

**-BREAK- (Jareth)**

Jareth stood primping at his mirror. Usually he would magically style his hair and clothes, but when one was on a date with a queen, one had to look his best.

Because of the blood that ended up drenching his clothes from their earlier escapade, Jareth had changed outfits. He did have his hair in a low ponytail, and he wore similar dark wash skinny jeans, and the same boots. However, he now had a new shirt that read '_That_ guy may ride a Red Camaro...but _Your _guy rides a Black Dragon'. The shirt again was accompanied by a black leather jacket.

Jareth glanced back up at the clock again and sighed. It was eleven forty-five, and he had no idea where to meet her at. He went back to straightening non-existent wrinkles in his shirt.

"Maaaajeeeeesssty!" Jareth turned around to see a very happy Crab-Cakes sitting on his rug. "Majesty! Lady said to follow me when big clock hand on the nine and little hand on the two ones!" The cute little goblin gave him a toothy smile and placed his hands on his hips. The little thing was obviously thought it impressive that he came at the right time.

Usually Jareth would try to spite the goblin's pride or offend it in some mildly degrading way, but he had to admit he was rather impressed that Crab-Cakes had known the time...sort of. "Very well, take me to her." He held out his leather-gloved hand for the goblin to take.

Crab-Cakes started at the hand, as if afraid to touch it, but quickly snatched it after remembering what Sarah had told him about not being afraid of Jareth.

The king-in-disguise looked around his current location. He was standing on a sidewalk beside a brick building with a large sign that read: Hypno Coffee. On the other side was a busy road.

Seeing as there was no other way to go, and this was obviously a coffee shop, Jareth stepped inside. The place was nicely decorated with a neutral grass green color painted on the walls, there were several odd paintings of blocks hanging, and a few black painted birds. There were tables lining the wall, and a few seats surrounding a counter that separated the customers from the preparation and staff area. There were also jars of cookies placed right in front of the door, as if anyone _could_ miss them.

Jareth was hit with a wave of delicious smells as soon as he entered the door. He could smell cookies, cakes, pies, tea, fruit, and a very strong smelling scent he could only guess was coffee.

The stylish king walked over to a stool by the counter and took a seat. A young waiter with a name tag that read, Andy, walked over and smiled sincerely at him. "Can I help you, Sir?"

Jareth had limited experience with genuine sincerity, so he smiled back. "Um, no thank you. Actually I'm waiting on..." Jareth thought for a moment what to call Sarah, "a friend first."

The man smiled. "Hopefully more than a friend before you leave?"

Jareth liked this guy. "Yeah, hopefully."

Andy smiled and winked. "Alright, just speak up if you need anything."

Jareth sat and waited...and waited...and waited. He looked up at a clock and sighed when he saw it read twelve thirty.

"Hey buddy?" Jareth looked up at Andy, "Are you sure this lady friend is going to show? You've been here for forty-five minutes."

Jareth scowled at him. "Hey," the waiter said holding up his hands, "I meant no offense, but you'll have to order something if you're going to stay any longer."

The disappointed king glanced up at their menu, which was posted on a black board hanging behind the counter. "I'll try a smoothie please, strawberry."

"Coming right up."

Five minutes later Jareth was tasting his first smoothie. He found her liked it rather well and ended up ordering a second one, this one was mango. He drank this one more slowly, though not because he disliked it. He was merely trying to keep his mind off of his growing heart ache.

After his third smoothie Jareth glanced back up at the clock. The number 12:56 mocked him as he stood to leave. He payed for his drinks and received a "Sorry about your luck man." from Andy. Just as he was about to walk out the door, a very frantic woman crashed right into his chest.

Jareth stumbled back, unconsciously holding the woman to his chest. He looked down and smiled. "Sarah!"

Whatever greeting Sarah had expected, this was not it. She backed up away from Jareth and placed a hand over her eyes. "I'm so sorry Jareth. I didn't mean to be so late. I had to type up this draft at work and it's Friday so I wouldn't be able to do it tomorrow and-"

Jareth placed a finger over her lips to silence her. He lifted her head and smiled brightly. "I have to admit you had me worried there for a while, but I never expected you to show up in the first place."

"I'll say." Came the voice of Andy from behind the counter. "Sarah you lucky dog! If I'd have known this poor guy was waiting for you, I would have told him to just go home."

Sarah stuck her tongue out at him, "Andy shut up! It's not like this is my first date." Her cheeks flushed a little.

"Yeah, but it's the first one you've showed up to willingly without your step-mom escorting you."

Her cheeks turned flame red and ignored the comment. "Jareth, this is Andy. He takes a few of the same art classes as I do in college. He's also one of my few friends, I trust." Jareth eyed him wearily, if not with utter jealousy, "Andy, this is Jareth. He..."

Jareth took over for Sarah's lack of an explanation. "We're old friends, just reconnecting."

Andy smiled a knowing smile towards Jareth. "Sure...Maybe Kate and I can join you guys sometime if you ever need any company."

Sarah smiled and looked at Jareth. "Kate is Andy's girlfriend. I'll introduce you guys next time we see them."

Jareth let out a mental sigh of relief at hearing Andy was in a relationship already. "Alright, sounds like fun." Jareth smiled and took a seat at a table close to the window. "Now come on you owe me a coffee for waiting so long on you."

Sarah blushed, but nodded and placed their order. "We'll have two mocha coffees Andy." She looked at Jareth. "Is that alright?"

"Yeah that sound great."

**A/N- Yes, my fine reader, I am cutting it off there, but rest assured I will let you have the next part soon...but not too soon, because I have to go to band camp tomorrow. Sorry guys real life sucks sometimes. **


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